Fear and Reconciling Persecution/Suffering

Persecution.

Persecution for Jesus, the gospel, and being a Christian is normal for so many countries and to be honest I will be real that although I have been reaping many blessings in the midst of COVID19, my mind begins to fall into fears and anxiety that come from my own thoughts, irrational fears, etc.

When I read verses like pick up your cross ( matt 16:24) or just the picture of Paul’s suffering in 2 Corinthians 4:7-18,” we are afflicted in every way, but not crushed, perplexed but not driven to despair, persecuted but not forsaken…”. Passages like that in the Bible have drawn out my fear of persecution and also has drawn out that question of what does it even mean for us in living in America.

First off, these passages and just watching some videos on Instagram ( Go follow RiseMighty) that show a lot of my own personal fear. One of my biggest fears is being sent on missions and being killed by Isis in a way that is a slow and painful death, honestly any type of physical pain is something I confess to having an irrational fear. It drives me to anxiety about the pain and even this thought of how death is going to be like. And understandably so, it’s a fear that I have and it heightens the call of suffering that is guaranteed to every believer. But in my mind, I irrationally and automatically ( I think it’s because of this fear of physical pain) that causes me to see that being martyred for my faith is something that I may be called to do. But the same passage that caused me some anxiety, gave me a peace .. persecuted but not forsaken. This idea that even if my worst fear were to come true, the fact is that, I will not be alone and there is a good Shepherd that guides me and will continue to guard me the whole way through. From what I see now, it might happen some time in the future whether persecution may ramp up here in America or I may be sent somewhere, but as of right now. I know the enemy is playing with that fear in my mind because it ultimately causes me to not believe that God is really good or faithful even if that were to happen. So how have I kind of dealt and handled that fear? I realize that even if God calls me to it, I have confidence that He will also prepare me for it. There is a strong chance this thought is not from God because it causes me doubt the care of God, but at the same time it challenges me to see that I am still in the process of surrendering everything for Jesus because He gave everything for me.His protection and care in the storm of suffering and persecution remains the same even in the times of peace and blessing. Because it’s really not about the circumstance but about His very presence in all things that I can find joy and peace in.

Secondly, how do I reconcile these two ideas of how we suffer in America and those who suffer in say the Middle East, China, North Korea, etc. For me, when Jesus calls us to pick up the cross because there is a cost, somehow in my mind, the cost of people who die for their faith seems so much…. Bigger. How is it not just fair? But sort of, how it is possible that a Christian in Iraq suffers so much while we enjoy comfort and ironically to say our comfort is our form of persecution. It just didn’t make sense to me. I felt this guilt almost as if the same cost isn’t the same for me? But my friend Michelle helped me see that there is a cost, some seem bigger than others, but the cost remains the same and the ultimate purpose of Christ being magnified is the common goal. She pointed me to Romans 12: 3-8. Which totally gave me peace because whether suffering and various trials of many kind may be dying for our faith or even choosing to say or do something against cultural norms, whether rich or poor, all that we do should be for God’s glory. Right? Paul even says that as we eat or drink, do all for the glory of God.

For me it was easy to look at suffering and persecution from an extreme point of view, like suffering is only seen as suffering if it entails giving your life up for Christ. And to be honest, we should be living like that anyways because what does suffering really do? In any kind of way, it ultimately displays that our life and our hope is not found on anything or anyone even our lives here on this earth. So it gives me the peace that like yeah my suffering may not look like my life physically being taken by someone else, but it challenges me to live as if it can be. “ To live is Christ, to die is gain”. Literally, whether we die or we live, at the end of it all, it should all point to Christ- in life and in death. And it challenges me even more so, that as God has been abundantly gracious in where I am, how much more should I be thankful and how much more should I be praying for those who are standing for Christ in the midst of persecution.

So in summary ( TLDR), my fear is physical affliction, but I know that even when I am not faced with it here, it is something I need to bring before God and repent and understand His grace in my weakness. I am reminded that His presence offers joy, peace, and security, not as the world gives in circumstance temporarily, but one that is long lasting and remains constant because that is who God is. And that, apart from the physical comforts and “blessings”, I am all the more grateful for. And lastly, it moves me into one who prays for the missionaries and believers in other countries that need prayer and Lord willing when I have the ability to give, to give.