He Has Been: Joy ( Work)

"Behold, I am doing a new thing; now it springs forth, do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and rivers in the desert." (Isaiah 43:19)

He is joy.

He is making all things news.

He is where my soul looks to.

He is joy.

Of all the areas in my life, I am most surprised that work was the hardest transition I experienced going into post grad life. It was hard leaving a job that I loved in the OC to come to a place that seemed like a mistake.

But God makes no mistakes and has taught me abundantly how to be present, even in the small daily struggles of what it looks like to be faithful, especially in an environment that I didn't feel apart of at first. God showed me He had the power to leave me in my circumstance, but change my heart to see that He is truly the only joy my heart should seek.

When I first started that job, my first impression was... different. Physically the way things were ran were so different. And I've been doing this job as PT aide for 3 years, which is why I thought of all places, work would be easy. It was any aide to any PT and my first impression of the boss did not rub me in the right way. Additionally when I first began, I struggled a lot with loneliness- not feeling I could connect or fit in with my coworkers. So I fell into the reject others before they can reject me and just fell into this feeling of needing to prove myself all the time. Although it was a natural time of getting to know one another with coworkers and patients, it was hard. It was something I began to fight to the point of wanting to quit. I would get offended when people forgot my name, I became bitter when I saw coworkers always talking and hanging out and I would feel alone, and wanted to escape.

But as I began to pray about it and was so ready to give up after one my hardest days. I felt this whisper console me to wait and see how He would redeem this situation. And of course, God did and is continuing to do so.

It was at this job when I finally began to wrestle with real purpose, especially in the field of PT. How does it look to be missional? And what I realized is that purpose starts before the day of work. It's in the car when I pray for God to move and to use me in the small decisions to be patient, loving and encouraging. Then it's the hope that I hold onto, the fact that during the day whether good or bad, feeling accepted or not, God sees me and is near. He is great but He is also near. And it's when I cling to that hope, I have found that with every interaction, it is a decision ( especially with patients) to do my best to form relationships that makes them feel known and loved as Christ knows and loves them. It is the motivation for me to go into each day without dragging my feet and knowing that whether or not an opportunity arises for me to share, I know that I am actively making decisions ( small and big) to be in step with the Spirit in how I treat and care for patients.

Lastly, God has been faithful to help me see a bigger purpose through being able to engage with my coworkers. As I began to seek more opportunities to care for my coworkers rather than using them to fill a need, God has provided abundantly. From asking a coworker to come to church and she has shown up a few times to engaging in spiritual conversation. Oh man, it was so cool! One of my coworkers actually knew a friend from Berean because they were roommates from college. And it was one lunch when we were catching up and then we began to talk about her perspective on Christianity and her questions like:

-why do good people go to hell while someone who killed and murdered but accepts Jesus in the last minute go to heaven?

- Why are Christians hypocrites towards homosexual community?

- Why is God an egotistic being, always seeking his glory, isn't that selfish?

I was able to answer the first two by explaining how sin is equal in God's eyes and sometimes it's easy to elevate some sins over others. But that's why we need to depend on grace because God requires perfection in order to get into heaven to be with Him which we aren't and why we are all in a need of a savior. But the last question was hard, tried explaining how God is creator and we are created but she didn't follow , but that's okay.

To that end, God has given me the grace to see purpose and joy at work. But it's not work itself, yes I love encouraging and hanging out with patients and have been growing relationships with my coworkers ( by God's grace). But all these, whether they got worse or better (they have gotten better), the reason work is a joy is because it always starts and ends with Christ. Work has been a small facet to help me see that my identity is in Christ and I am purposed for Christ. That faithfulness starts with a surrender to find Him as treasure first and foremost before I find myself proving myself in doing godly things. Although one of my greater struggles, work has become one of my bigger joys. And it is all because of the grace of God and learning to stand firmly on that alone.